Songs I wrote but did nothing with

Casting these upon the waters. If anyone wants 'em,they can have 'em.

This first one is unquestionably the best of the bunch. I imagined it as a Chuck Berry ditty.

Abattoir Party

Hey young lovers, you can take it from me,
if you're ever in Chicago there's a place you oughtta see
It's a place in the stockyards where the kids all go
cause they wanna boogie-woogie at the rock-n-roll show

Abattoir party, nice 'n' smooth
Abattoir party, Dr. Temple approves
Abattoir party, neat as a pin
Labor laws ain't strong enough to let the workers join in

See the little girl in the hairnet hat?
Utility grade meat don't shake like that
She does the Smithfield Shuffle and the Slaughterhouse Slide
FDA regulations don't cover hips that wide

Abattoir party, join the crowd
Abattoir party, inspectors ain't allowed
Abattoir party, it's the place you wanna be
If you bring your own hammer then they'll let you in for free

Upton Sinclair was a good old man
He went to the party with a pen in his hand
He intended to write about the conditions in the place
but he got a bit distracted by the booty in his face

Abattoir party, round the world
Abattoir party, grab a girl
Abattoir party, lose your blues
And get a little red on your dancin' shoes


The next two are nearly word salads, except that there were no intended meanings.

Batman The Rest Of The Time

Batman was the king of the jungle
He taught us how to walk the line
He was drowsy but responsive in his pointy little hat
and he made his Batmobile out of Thunderbird wine

"Solving a crime, bitch
I'm solving a crime"

Batman had hisself a saucy British butler
who collected crystal vinegar toes
He was wise in the ways of the world of the gays
and you never had to ask him where the tater juice grows

The Joker sits at home with nothing to do
Give him a call, bitch
Give him a call

He had a little trouble with a big ol' girl
She had a monkey monkey on her spine
She was feeling kind of wooden when she spilled her baby's puddin'
In the center of the Gotham City highway line

Robin's had it up to here with being called a queer
"Get you hands off my ass, Bruce
I'm calling Social Services this time and I mean it"


Animal Dog

elevator's bite
power vane and smile
the jawbone starts on spaceman parts
you're an animal dog

tears made of iron
headaches of steel
lawsuits and roses
you're an animal dog

rip off the helmet
assemble a tree
shout at the train
about an animal dog

talk to god on a TV set
convince a monkey to die
climb on the surface
of an animal dog

coat it in fire
kill it with paint
memorial gutters on harridan's cloak
you're an animal dog