For those of you that have been caught in retail-drone work or gift-gathering torture, I put together an antithesis of X-Mas Muzak. Most of the selections would be considered objectionable by the family-values crowd, so be judicious in your choice of listening environment.
Total playtime: 1 hour, 35 minutes
Total playtime: 1 hour, 35 minutes
- Nichols and May - Merry Christmas, Doctor
- National Lampoon - The Evil Santa
As with the following five selections, this contains a bad attitude towards a mythic figure. - Dance The Bridge - Santa Knows
This one comes to us via Invade My Privacy, the proprietors of which brought Sabertooth Swordsman into the comicbook world. - Joe Pesci - If It Doesn't Snow On Christmas
- Clarence Carter - Back Door Santa
Them horns sound familiar, somehow. - Wesley Willis - Kris Kringle is a Car Thief
What's Santa's real story, eh? Now it can be told! - The Kids Of Widney High - Santa's In A Wheelchair
I guess Santa finally got what was coming to him. Incidentally, when I was searching for this song, I discovered that the Kids made a short film! - Stephen Colbert and Willie Nelson - Little Dealer Boy'
Tis the season for iconoclasm. - igiulamam - You Can't Touch Mormon Jesus
See above. - Pinkard and Bowden - Put The 'X' Back In Christmas
- Bob Rivers - Walking Around in Women's Underwear
- Patton Oswalt - Christmas Shoes
That song he describes is pretty miserable, even by the moribund standards of Christian pop music. By the way, there's an animated version of the Christmas Shoes routine, but I think this version of the rant is funnier. - Neil Young - Frosty the Snowman
Um... maybe not exactly as advertized. - The Youngsters - Christmas in Jail
- Steve Martin and Paul Simon - Silver Bells
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone - The Most Offensive Song Ever
"Most offensive" ever? Nah. I mean, right off hand, there's this. Or anything this guy ever recorded. I find any of these, really, to be more offensive than the South Park song. But I understand that someone else's faith-based mileage could vary. Still, that Joe Aufricht dude needs to be put the fuck down. - The Merle - Look Ma (I'm Drunk and Crying)
Here we have a long-gone Asheville band. Damn shame they're gone. - Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol
Not one of his best, but it fits. - H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society - I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog Sothoth
Looks like champagne isn't the only thing that's bubbly, huh? - "Weird Al" Yankovic - Christmas At Ground Zero
- Monty Python - Christmas in Heaven
Everything sunny all the time always! - Spinal Tap - Christmas with the Devil
Or maybe you're headed in another direction?
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